With his new heart pumping something akin to blood through his veins, former Vice President spoke for over an hour and fifteen minutes at an appearance in Cheyenne, Wyoming yesterday. "I was amazed he was able to say so much over the whole course of an hour," audience member Helen Bishop said. Indeed, most surprising is that there is no mention in the AP report of Cheney noisily devouring baby geese or strangling a stagehand with his mind.
Cheney played all his greatest hits since leaving office, like "[Obama] has been an unmitigated disaster to the country," and the timeless classic: repeated, state-sanctioned torture "produced a wealth of information. Don't let anybody tell you the enhanced interrogation program didn't work. It did." He also debuted a new one, saying that Mitt Romney will do "a whale of a job." Presumably the former vice president was referring to enslaving all of the world's whales to power an oil derrick in the Marianas Trench, which has been his dream for years.
But Weston McCrary, who was eating breakfast with his family at the convention center where Cheney was giving his speech (a truck stop/golf/hotel called Little America) has perhaps the most incisive quote of the article. "I don't know what he would have to say that I would find particularly encouraging." Be careful, Weston. And don't accept any hunting invitations.
