You needn't have had a traumatic experience in your youth while trying to retrieve the Cross of Coronado from bandits to hate snakes. All you need is to have stumbled upon a frozen one on the Upper West Side: "Frozen UWS roadkill on 75th between Amsterdam and Columbus! Why and how?!" Margot Meyerhoff wrote us alongside the photos. What other nightmares are hiding under the melting snow?
Margot Meyerhoff
"Saw it on my way to the gym and numerous explicit words came out of my mouth," she added. "Looks like it was run over, but then froze in attack position, with his head raised. Belly looks pretty full too. Ick!"
Snake heads can stay alive for up to an hour after being decapitated, so we can only imagine what damage they can do while still attached to their partially frozen bodies. This is exactly why you need to keep your snakes out of our subways/streets—because if one happens to die en route to your dentist appointment, you shouldn't be tempted to leave its molting body on the ground and inadvertently create a Murderball-like maze of nightmare snake heads for your fellow New Yorkers.
So if you want to own a snake, don't leave its carcass in the street. Because here's the cold hard truth: if you gave reptiles the chance, they would turn the entire city into a bunch of snakelizardmonsters. Just watch the documentary The Amazing Spider-Man if you don't believe us.
This isn't Snake Island for crissakes.
