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"I'm sooooo happpppppy toooooo seeeeee yoooooou agggggggain Wiiiiiiiiiiiiilson," Hanks was heard saying.

The New Yorker knows how far behind you are on your New Yorkers, so it has also uploaded audio of the story, read to us by Tom Hanks in smooth and comforting fatherly tones.

Thieves and thugs LOVE wearing Yankees caps, and the same goes with a man the police say robbed a Queens bank. Except this suspect added a new sartorial edge to his outfit: a red wig.