jimmy kimmel

Dr. Fauci had particularly pointed advice for younger people who have been cavalier about the spread of the virus.

“Seriously, I would watch an entire after-school special with an undercover Andrew Cuomo posing as a teen skateboarder, trying to bust kids for hanging out in the park.”

"If there's one good thing that might come out of this crisis, I think it's that in this seemingly divided nation, people are doing their best to protect the country's collective well-being."

“When Trump said we were going to be sick of winning, I didn’t think he meant it literally.”

How can we really know what did or didn't happen with the midterms if we don't first consult with the TV comedians?

'I feel like I can hear western civilization crumbling as we speak.'

'They just look at you like, 'why are you in my backyard, my garbage?'

This was the cherry tomato on top of the prank salad.

'If you get a chance, you should check out the exhibit on the 80th floor.'

Deodorant painting, people peeing in cups, oatmeal accidents, cane chasers, and so many masturbators.