This morning I had to drop off my roommate kid at Pre-School at 9 a.m. Only 3 kids were there, all looking pretty shell shocked from the cold. Then, as I was walking down Columbia Heights toward DUMBO, I noticed a couple of Citi Bikes sitting forlornly in the snow. I'd just been reading about fat-wheel snow bike enthusiasts online, so I thought I'd see if it was possible to bike the half-mile to the office. TL;DR: this was a very dumb idea.
My Notes
1. Undocking: after hiking over a knee-deep snow drift, the bike undocked perfectly. It was a challenge to pull it out over the snow, though. Suggestion: heat the area around the dock stations to melt the snow.
2. Downhill: the first leg of the journey, down "Suicide Hill" on Columbia Heights, was challenging. The brakes performed adequately well, but I discovered the smooth wheels have no grip, so you can't turn the front wheel at all—you immediately slip. So you're sort of at the mercy of gravity and wherever the bike is pointed. I noticed the Jehovah's Witnesses who were shoveling snow were laughing at me and pointing. This seemed very un-Christlike. Suggestion: better treads on Citi Bike wheels, more training for junior JWs.
3. Uphill: there's a short stretch of uphill on Fulton Street towards Front. Once again, the lack of grip proved challenging. A truck driver who stalled out by the side of the road pointed and yelled something. After much effort, I was able to get across the intersection to Front Street. Around this time I started wondering if my life insurance covered getting killed doing something like this. Suggestion: maybe snow chains or something for the really bad days? Or like a little snow plow you could attach to the front of the bike?
Note the curvy tracks from the skidding bike. (Gothamist)
4. Flat ground: This wasn't any easier. Down Front Street I found the hard packed snow in the bus-tire tracks seemed to be a little easier, but I was weaving this way and that and wiped out a couple of times. The construction workers at the Two Trees site along Front gathered together to watch me making an ass out of myself. There was some more pointing and laughing. Suggestion: De Blasio administration could buy tiny little snow-trucks and plows and plow the bike lanes first. Bike appreciation should be made a collective bargaining issue in construction contracts.
5. Sidewalks: Two blocks of Front Street were impassible, as they hadn't been plowed and there were no real car tracks. I walked the bike along the sidewalk. A number of pedestrians gave me looks. At this point I almost had an asthma attack from exertion and humiliation. Suggestion: all Citibikes should be equipped with inhalers during Winter months. Mandatory training for pedestrians to develop more empathy for cyclists.
6. Re-docking: At Pearl Street triangle, I attempted to redock. The first slot was iced-over, and wouldn't take the bike. A second slot performed, after I de-iced it with my gloves and shoveled out some snow. It took a couple of tries, during which the guys at the Car Service place appeared to be taking pictures of me with their cell phones. Suggestion: all docks should probably have de-icing machines built in. NYC should sponsor a public education campaign about not taking pictures of strangers humiliating themselves.
Conclusion: this was a seriously stupid idea that turned out to be much more physically challenging and dangerous than I expected, and I wouldn't recommend it. Suggestion: Citi Bikes should probably be disabled on days with significant snowfall. Some asshole could really get hurt!
