In a curt message to the isolated island natives, Roosevelt Island Operating Corporaton President (RIOC) Steve Shane made the following announcement about a major impending pain in the ass: "Tram: All on schedule for March 1 shutdown. Please familiarize yourself with alternate transportation options. See RIOC's website and posted materials. Less than 3 weeks to go. None should be surprised."According to New Yorkology, the oft-delayed project, expected to last until August 31st, is part of "a major modernization project." Does that mean the tram's being turned into a monorail?!

Nah, that's more a Shelbyville idea—but the story goes that when the work is done the tram will be less prone to malfunctions that leave riders dangling in the air for 12 hours. The project will also allow the tram cabins to "operate independently" and is expected to improve rush hour travel times, energy efficiency, and enable the service to continue during maintenance. In the meantime, there's always usually the F train, and the RIOC will be operating shuttle buses! Details here [pdf].