Phone numbers bearing New York's prestigious 212 area code may soon be divvied out to Real Americans in the heartland. According to the Post, VOIP provider Vonage has filed a petition with the FCC to release the national pool of unused numbers of all area codes. Besides hurling the country into a period of deep unrest and martial law, the release would also be offensive to New Yorkers, who are severely lacking pointless reasons to discriminate against potential sexual partners.
The Post, combing through the Amazon records of people who recently purchased the Complete First Season of Mad About You, found New Yorkers who were actually upset by the measure:
Juliana Goldman, who started a marketing firm called Goldman Network after moving to Manhattan from Florida seven years ago, was denied her request for a 212.
“I looked into a 212 number, and they said that all they had was 917 and 646,” she recalled. “212 is the signature New York City area code, and I want it.”
Presumably Goldman then inflated into a large ball and had to be wheeled away by Oompa-Loompas.
The FCC said it would rule on Vonage's request on April 18. New Yorkers concerned about spending half their salary on rent and another $80/month so the glass box they type smiley faces into is reachable by three specific digits that are solely acknowledged when a new contact is added, should take comfort in the fact that by 2020, New York's official area code is slated to be the sound of a toilet flushing in a Starbucks bathroom.
