If you're a Long Island resident whose mail has been missing, it's probably not just because it got "lost" or there was an "error" with your address—it's because your mailman tossed it in the trash, real casual, like it was an orange peel or a bag of unwanted kittens.
Investigators began tracking 24-year-old mailman Patrick Paskett after receiving numerous complaints from residents in Seaford and Massapequa Park that their letters and packages were not being delivered, the Post reports . Sure enough, an agent with the USPS witnessed firsthand Paskett in the act of throwing mail into dumpsters—because what is a dumpster if not just a large mailbox where all items, no matter how moribund or slick with garbage juice, are welcome? Was Paskett not just attempting to demolish the wall between the haves and the have-nots, the ones dressed in crisp vellum envelopes and meticulously illustrated "forever" stamps, and everything else—the balls of dryer lint and the tired sponges and the expired Velveeta? Beneath its privileged packaging, what really separates "mail" from "junk" anyway? And who are we to judge the difference between the two?
Despite his intentions, Paskett admitted last week to trashing more than 1,000 pieces of mail in the course of 15 separate instances between December and this month, landing him a mail destruction charge and the possibility of up to five years in jail. Like so many revolutionaries before him, though, we're certain that Paskett's fire for justice will not be muted. We look forward to seeing what great works he produces and what sort of inventive facial hair his time in the pen inspires him to grow.
