Hey ladies, I'm John Edwards, former presidential candidate, single term Senator, and—let's not forget!—son of a mill worker. You may also remember me as the guy who cheated on his cancerous wife, fathered a secret love-child, and allegedly spent almost a million dollars to keep the whole thing hidden during the primaries in 2008. Hey, I'm the first to admit it was bad timing on my part, but how many times does a guy have to bite his lower lip in public to earn redemption? The key word there, ladies, is ALLEGEDLY! Look at these sparkling pearly whites—could a guy with this kind of charisma really be so bad? Hey you, behind the camera—how about dinner and a hair appointment once I make all this go away?
Sure, think it over as long as you want—ideally while gazing deeply into my soulful, completely-not-creepy eyes. Once you've come to your senses and realized you were a fool to ever think twice about getting Onwards And Edwards, you can find me on Match.com, OK Cupid, and—most nights—SugarSugar.
What do YOU think John Edwards is trying to communicate with his smiling mug shot? Alternate titles for this post, courtesy Christopher Robbins, who will be here all week (except Thursday and Friday, which are his days off):
- John Edwards Mugshot: See, Anthony? It's Not So Bad
- John Edwards Mugshot: The Face Only A Videographer Could Love
- John Edwards Mugshot: Before It's Pixilated On The Sex Tape
- John Edwards Mugshot: A Different Type Of Weiner Pic
