We receive a lot of e-mail. Most of these missives are carefully read, discussed at length among the editors, and courteously replied to in a timely fashion—except for the ones that are so bizarre and irrelevant that we're simply afraid to engage the sender. Instead, we'll share them with you. Behold, the eccentric underbelly of the Gothamist inbox:

We received this with the subject line "we are the manufacturer of Petroleum Resin":

Dear Purchase Manager:
Hope your everything doing well!
We are the manufacturer and exporter with many years' experience in Petroleum Resins. We have our own factory established in 1998 with 80000 m2 and R&D center. I'm glad to contact with you and hope our products can be helpful for your business.

We love sprinkling petroleum resin on top of our Kashi as much as the next fellow, but journalistic integrity prevents us from sampling their sweet, plasticizing hydrocarbons. We're trying to cut back so stop tempting us!

This was sent with the subject line "Order":

Dear Sir/Madam
I would like to purchase meters from your shop.What types of them do
you have in and what would be the prices?What types of payments do you
accept? looking forward to hear from you soon.

This person has to be more specific: is he referring to our sister corporations Meter City or NeaterMeters? Or our parent company, Meter Meter Pumpkin Eater? Either way, it's important to specify which meter store you want Gothamist to set you up with. Except Lovely Rita Meter Maid.

In fact, bringing people together is what this site is all about. Take this email:

Dear Whom This May Concern, My name is [REDACTED] and I would like to meet Bradley Cooper. I live in Chicago. He is funny. Do you know his email? Sincerely, [REDACTED]

[REDACTED], I hope you're sitting down. I had lunch with Brad on Tuesday (well, it was more like a smoothie and a Zone bar after our squash game, but we're supposed to go to the Palm next week) and he said he HATES Chicago. Hates it. And that people who are from Chicago can't be trusted. Sorry. Can we suggest washing down your sadness with some petroleum resin?

We're also huge history buffs, so we pretty much shut down for a few hours after getting this:

I know where John W. Booth's Diary is. History records, that He gave Elizabeth Quesenberry a Gift. I know what that gift is and where its buried. It's His diary and its sealed in a clay jar with wax. This is no joke or prank. I really know where it is. I'm her ancestor and I found information leading me to the exact location.

We've had a few Bartles & Jaymes, but go on:

One more last thing, to try and prove I'm telling you the truth. God says in the Bible, that in the last days, that all that was hidden would be made known. I found clues/symbols, that have information in them. I've learned how to understand them. There are several things, that they tell where something is hidden- the clay jar, that I first mentioned is just one of them- there are several others also. All of these above I found by these codes/symbols, that I'm able to understand. When you look at my videos- remember this... I didn't paint the Mona Lisa I didn't create google earth and I didn't tell Poussin to what to paint I'm not crazy, I'm ?

Tom? Tom Hanks? Is that you? We loved you in Big! And Bachelor Party! And your son Chet Haze is amazing! Could you talk some sense into Bradley Cooper for a friend of ours?