Paper and String reports that there may be a bench thief on the loose in the West Village. They stumbled upon a handwritten sign demanding the return of a communal bench near 647 Hudson Street. It reads: “Whoever stole our bench. Please return it. It has been with us for over 25 years and means alot to us and our neighborhood.” Could someone just have wanted a bench in their apartment to throw their dirty laundry onto? Or is this some kind of conspiracy?
A bench really doesn't seem like the most convenient item to pilfer. In the past, some local businesses downtown have removed their benches because they didn't want people "living" outside their store anymore. So perhaps a neighboring store didn't appreciate the late-night crowds the local bench attracted. Maybe it'll mysteriously turn up on tall stilts on Houston Street. Or maybe this is the first step toward some diabolical advertising campaign, like the creepy one a clothing store in New Zealand is currently using— Superette installed plates on benches which imprint their ad onto the back of bare legs. After all, one man's "veritable army of free media" is another man's upskirt perv.
