Are you relatively new to this bustling metropolis? Don't be shy about it, everyone was new to New York once upon a time, except, of course, those battle-hardened residents who've lived here their whole lives and Know It All. One of these lifers works among us at Gothamist—publisher Jake Dobkin grew up in Park Slope and still resides there. He is now fielding questions—ask him anything by sending an email here, but be advised that Dobkin is "not sure you guys will be able to handle my realness." We can keep you anonymous if you prefer; just let us know what neighborhood you live in.
This week's question comes from a New Yorker who's had it up to here with people littering.
Hi Jake,
I'm tired of trash being littered all over the sidewalks, and my frustration around the issue has grown exponentially greater throughout the past two years of dog ownership. Pulling discarded chicken bones out of her mouth on a daily basis really pisses me off.
I know that nothing can be done. It's NYC and there is going to be trash. I can deal with it or GTFO. However, my question is about confronting some of the many assholes that i see littering. Even a sarcastic "You dropped something" is a personal victory for me. What's your take on calling out these literal garbage-people? Is it worth my time/energy/safety?
If you support such actions, how should a rogue vigilante respond when he sees someone throw their halal styrofoam container under a seat on the G train?
Sincerely,
Ticked by Trash
A native New Yorker responds:
Dear TBT:
New York City has a long history of rogue vigilantism, so I think your plan to form a paramilitary Guardian Angels-type organization to police and persecute litterbugs would do very well here. Like somebody drops the cellophane wrapper on their cigarette pack into the wind and suddenly, BLAM, there you are—ten hooded trash terrorists in black berets. It'd probably take just fifteen or twenty slobs getting thrown headfirst into dumpsters to really clean up this town.
Like all New Yorkers of good will, I despise litterbugs. Sure, our city has many undesirables actively making things worse: real estate agents, hedge fund operators, manspreaders, cat-kickers, Martin Shkreli, Russian kleptocrat condo owners... But their evil is at a remove, and is often easily ignored. The same cannot be said about the gum spat out on the pavement, the quarter-full Starbucks cup left precariously on top of the overfull can, or the huge piles of garbage blocking the sidewalks outside our hospitals, schools, and apartment buildings. Littering is vile, sinful, immoral wickedness that affects each and every one of us, every single day.
My many years of residency in New York have given me ample time to consider the pathology of litterbugs. I've come to believe these depraved reprobates come in two forms: the oblivious and the intentional. The first, though less ethically culpable, occur in huge numbers. These are the people that "accidentally" leave their newspapers on the subway and "innocently" drop their used tissues on the street. These are careless people—the ignorant, the self-involved. Their littering takes the form of things unconsciously left behind, and in their vast cluelessness they simply don't consider those who will be forced to clean up the mess they have made.
The second type of litterbug, however, is far worse. These are the actively nefarious psychopaths who intentionally scatter their garbage on the streets and subways. The men and women who throw down their half-eaten bagels and paella-filled styrofoam containers as a challenge to society, and then look around with a half smile and a hard stare to see who among us dares to stand up and challenge their anarchism. The dog owners who don't even bother to carry bags to clean up after their mutts belong in this category. These are people who thought about it, know it's wrong, and do it anyway, because their hearts are full of malice.
The first type of litterbug can be easily corrected. Most times a gentle reproving glance, a quiet clearing of the throat, or at most, a simple shout of "hey fucko, did you lose this?" while waving their garbage at them, will suffice. These people are contemptible, but not intentionally malevolent—when their littering is brought to their attention, they usually respond with embarrassment and contrition.
The second type of litterbug is another matter altogether. This is the one that calls for vigilantism. Most people don't have the strength of character and self-defense skills to take them on, and would do well to simply call 311 to report their trash piles, and chalk it up as one of the many inconveniences we are willing to deal with to live in such a great city.
However, there are some, and they number very few—the Tzadikim Nistarim—undercover superheroes who walk among us, the bold spirits willing to risk a stabbing to keep our city slightly less filthy. Are you one of them? If so, let me say for all of us: your work is appreciated and your inevitable mortal sacrifice is recognized!
An important lesson to meditate on is that the categories of "litterbug" and "litterbug-avenger" are not mutually exclusive. All of us at one time or another have been careless with our garbage, and left behind a mess that some poor MTA employee or Department of Sanitation worker had to take care of. It takes a certain amount of self-awareness, consideration for others, and physical effort to avoid this, but the strain is worth it.
There's a reason the first thing they teach you when you join a Buddhist monastery is to wash your own dishes and keep your monk cell clean. The path to enlightenment leads first through the janitor's closet.
N.B.: Don't forget to compliment people when you do see them cleaning up after themselves. I was once eating a bagel with cream cheese on the F Train, and a small plop of cream cheese exited the bagel and landed on the floor. Of course, I quickly wiped it up with a napkin, and after I was done, an old lady across the aisle said, "Good for you, young man." It was the greatest compliment another New Yorker has ever paid to me.
Ask a Native New Yorker anything via email. Anonymity is assured.
