Today is Purim, a holiday celebrating the triumph of the Jewish people over evil getting completely waaaaasted. And though you've only got about six hours left before the Chabad folks put the free liquor shots away for another year, there's still time to pick up some other Purim staples, like hamantaschen and kreplach.

First and foremost, a little history about Purim: back in the heyday of the ancient Persian empire, King Ahasuerus (XERXES!) married the beautiful Queen Esther, who, much like Rashida Jones, was secretly Jewish. She and her uncle Mordecai managed to foil the plot of Haman, the King's evil advisor, who wanted to murder all the Jews in Persia. And to celebrate this happy occasion, every year Jews gather to read the Book of Esther, wear costumes (though preferably not ones involving blackface), and get so completely inebriated that they can't tell the difference between good (Mordecai) and evil (Haman). You must get drunk. It is REQUIRED BY LAW.

Thankfully, in order to soak up all this mandated alcohol, there are some snacks. Haman, ever the fashionista, reportedly donned a three-cornered hat while spending all that time threatening to wipe out the Hebrews; in retaliation, Jews eat triangle-shaped cookies called hamantaschen, which are usually filled with mashed apricots, poppy seeds, prunes or chocolate, if you're really lucky. There are a number of great places around town to pick up hamantaschen, including Russ & Daughters on the Lower East Side and Breads Bakery in Union Square. You can also make your own using these Joy of Kosher recipes.

Another popular Purim dish are kreplach, boiled triangular dumplings filled with meat, potatoes or some other ground up food. They taste best when they're floating in chicken soup broth, and you can find them at a number of delicatessens, including Ben's Best Kosher Delicatessen in Rego Park, Queens or the famed 2nd Avenue Deli on the Upper East Side.

If you don't have time to make/buy/eat these delicious three-cornered foods, though, do not despair. A bottle of vodka will suffice just fine.