It's probably been years since you've seen anyone dare to ingest a Twinkie, but that didn't make it any less startling to hear that the chemically-infused "cakes," as essential to the fabric of America as bald eagles and Hulk Hogan's sex tape, would be disappearing from shelves when Hostess declared bankruptcy last November. The brand was bought in March by Apollo Global Management Group, and now, the beloved and indestructible snacks will reportedly be making their triumphant return to stores and psych wards this summer, where consumers with even a modicum of self-respect will probably continue to not buy them!
"We expect to be making and selling in July," Michael Cramer, executive vice president of Hostess Brands LLC told NBC. "Probably the later half of the month before the product hits the stores."
You can continue to make your own at home, but remember, only authentic Twinkies will fulfill your recommended daily intake of Polysorbate 60 and beef fat. Just ask John McClane:
