The Union Square Metronome, also known as "that clock thing," "those weird numbers," or the "smoldering anus," has been confusing people since it went up in 1999 and more so for the past year and a half as it got worse and worse at telling time. But all that should be in the past, as it is finally telling the correct time again, according to Related Companies, which owns the building it rests on. Not that people won't continue to come up with crazy versions of what they think those numbers mean. Like, uh, acres of rainforest destroyed annually?

According to Kristen Jones, who designed the clock and the art on the north side of 1 Union Square South with Andrew Ginzel, the repairs done to the clock (which until recently double-checked the time via dial-up!) mean it should now tell the correct time going forward. Wait, you still don't know how to tell time on the Metronome? Okay guys, one more time:

The 15 numbers of the digital clock display time going and coming relative to midnight. Read time going left to right and time coming in the opposite direction. So, if the clock reads 070437000235616 it means that it is 7:04 A.M. (7 hours and 04 minutes since midnight) and that there are 16 hours, 56 minutes and 23 seconds remaining until midnight. The three numbers in between are a blur of moving numbers.

Got that? Good.

Anyway, the best part about the Metronome isn't that it tells time. It is that apparently nobody can figure it out. The Times went around Union Square asking people what it meant and got the darndest answers, including:

  • “it’s the number for pi,” offered Zack Foley, 32, staring at the first four digits, 0-4-0-7, hours before the clock was fixed. “Wait, why is it moving?”

  • "the national debt"
  • "daily carbon emissions"

  • "the seconds remaining until the end of the world."

  • Some people even used to think it was a viral marketing plan for Lost, "They thought it was a secret code to keep the plane from crashing on the show.”

  • All good guesses. But sadly it is just a very ugly, slightly confusing, clock.