Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark

still hasn't opened (and the planned March 15th opening might not even happen) but with the show pulling in big bucks (it was the number two grosser on Broadway last week) is it any surprise that starving artists are trying to get in on Julie Taymor's action? Before Turn Off The Dark and its chorus of dancing Spider-Men even get to opening night not one but two Off-Broadway takes on the adventures of Peter Parker are set to briefly grace our city's stages. But first the "real" Spidey cast is set to make their second major television appearance (after a 60 Minutes preview and countless reports on the show's troubles) with a performance on The Late Show with David Letterman on March 1.

Anyway, back to the Spider-spoofs! The first to debut, on March 13th, is Spidermann—which actually already premiered last month in Seattle—at the Tank theater at 354 West 45th Street. Tickts will run $5-a-pop and there are two additional performances scheduled for March 14th. Here's how the show's press release describes it:

Instead of straightforward narrative, SPIDERMANN threads together elements of the original comic book story, references to the buzz-heavy Broadway debacle, songs stripped down to their essential core, and dreamlike video sequences to create a new mythology in an art-house style. The result is an unusual alternate-universe story of a lost man struggling with identity and reality to find love. Featuring the characters Spidermann, Peter Parkre, Mary Jane Taymor, Radioactive Steve Winwood, and more.

Then on March 14 the PIT theater at 123 East 24th Street hosts a free performance of The Spidey Project. The idea behind the "guerilla theater project" is to write, produce and perform a full Spider-Man musical before the real one ever even opens and its creators describe themselves as true fans of the comics. They also swear that they are taking their great responsibility very seriously. They promise to faithfully follow the webslingers origin story, even without permission from Marvel. So don't expect an Arachne, or even a Mary Jane Watson (who in the comics didn't meet Spidey until later). Which is why, we assume, they are only going to do the show once.

We'd be surprised if Marvel's lawyers haven't already sent out their cease-and-desist letters. Anyway, this just makes us all the more sad that Forbidden Broadway is no longer with us. If ever there was a perfect subject for Gerard Alessandrini's merry muckrakers it would have to be the mess that is the Spider-Man (well, after the old standards like Merman and Liza and Lloyd Weber and Sondheim, but you know what we mean).