From the fires of capitalism have come many a pestiferous commercial holiday, but
"Send a Naked Picture of Yourself to Steve Buscemi Day," is the real deal. You already know exactly how your naked photo will be received by Steve Buscemi, as his mien is one of permanent bewilderment cut with just a dash of horrified surprise, even, probably, when asleep. It looks like this:
Steve, looking at you.
"Send a Naked Picture of Yourself to Steve Buscemi Day" is on February 21. Does this mean that the photo must be taken on February 21, or the day the photo must be sent? Is this the day Steve's eyes will fall upon the photos, or will he incorporate the viewings into his life throughout the year, slotting a few minutes each day between flossing and swabbing the folds of his eye-skin to riffle through?
The Facebook event (which as of this writing has 2.5 thousand "attendees") is short on particulars, though it does come with one guideline: "Remember Folks! Tasteful & Arty. I do not promote appealing to Steve Buscemi's Prurient Interests."
Oh, and if you're the type of prude that demands some element of legitimacy before poppin' your nudes in the mail, Urban Dictionary asserts that "Feb. 21" is "a day nationally accepted as 'Send a Naked Picture of Yourself to Steve Buscemi' Day," so thus it must be so.
Send your NON-PRURIENT nude selfies to Steve Buscemi, c/o Polaris Public Relations, 8135 West 4th Street, Los Angeles, CA 90048.
Still not quite in the mood? Not sure what "the mood" even is? 50 Shades of Steve Buscemi should be enough to jump start your woodchipper.
